Sex after childbirth. It’s something not many of us think about until you get there. Between just growing your baby for 9 months, taking care of a newborn and everything in between we’ve asked a BEABA mom to tell us how she REALLY felt about sex life postpartum. What she had to say just might surprise you.
So, what’s it like? Shortly after childbirth, most of us forget how painful it was as the joyful coos of our new little one is enough to wipe your memory like Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. That is, until you think about trying to get jiggy with your significant other once more. Suddenly, your heart is palpitating, you’re feeling sweaty and all you want to do is cross your legs tightly.
So, why the immense fear? It’s the unknown. You don’t KNOW it’s going to hurt, but the pain you experienced in those regions is now a vivid memory and you can’t bear the thought of it hurting. While we’re definitely not advocating that you start getting down before your body is ready, sometimes your body is ready before your mind is. If it’s just irrational fear that’s keeping you zipped up tightly, go slow and give yourself a reality check. My version of a pep talk was, “A baby’s entire body is much bigger than what my husband is packing.” Logical and accurate.
There’s also the fact that you’re likely in the worst shape of your life. Where you once grew a little human is now a soft, flabby belly. The process usually begins with your partner caressing you and saying something encouraging like, “Oh baby, you’re beautiful.” And then you (or maybe it was just me) think, “No, I have eyes. I can see myself. “The fact is most of us don’t feel pretty, and the thought of exposing all that jelly to anyone, even those you love the most, is a tough pill to swallow. Even in the dark, thoughts of shadows of rolls, isn’t exactly the foundation of feeling sexy.
The solution? Accept that this is all part of the process and remember that 1) sex burns calories and is actually a tool to getting back to the old you and 2) orgasms are endorphins that will give a nice boost to your sleep deprived body. Be patient with yourself, lean on your partner, and after time, the anxiety of it all will dissipate, and you’ll remember exactly why you birthed this tiny little mini you.